I was at a standstill, unable to differentiate my happiness between dread and my feelings of euphoria for melancholy. My sense of stability had been compromised and the underlying fabric of my reality began to expose years of pulls and tears.
The cold had stunned me. It was the beginning of April, but the clouds held onto the winter chill. I watched the curtains dance in the wind, casting shadows around the bedroom. I lay on my back feeling the wind create goose pimples on my skin. It was six in the morning, and I was…
The Judas kiss – The touch of betrayal, the caress of a liar.
As we move through the tumultuous motions of obscurity, we brace for impact as we feel the lurch of time overpower our very will. Through careful thought and waiting, one cannot lose.
What would happen If I let the wind guide me and I fell deep into the waters? An elderly man was walking along the pier, gazing out into the water. Surely he would save me. I pictured the water piercing my skin, the ice cold current digging thousands of tiny blades in my body.
The fact was this: people don’t change, they become stealthier at hiding their true selves. A cloak of decadent and distracting colors if you will.
I woke to the sound of mechanical beeping. Lights flashed around me as I opened my eyes. Slowly coming into focus, I noted the beige wall and glanced upwards toward the ceiling. I was laying in a hospital bed.
He had me, he had me hook line and sinker.
My mind races through old photographs, desolate sunsets, Asia to Amsterdam, and bodies shaking with every touch, and kiss, a new jolt to life brought forward by a mind-altering epiphany.
Whether protecting him or protecting myself, I dilute the white lies in white wine and carry on with our dinner.
I often think about the man on the moon. Who is he? What did he do? Where does he go to get his coffee? The unanswered questions radiate through my mind penetrating every solitary crevice of my sanity.
Who was Xavier? The ambiguity played connect the dots with the rain drops as they formed on the window pane. Through fogged covered glass and an autumn palette decorating the landscape, I stare aimlessly into the mid-afternoon sky.