Face resting in my hands, I wiped the tears off of my face. Surrounded by a collection of paperwork, notebooks and technological devices, I fell into a breakdown. I had failed to take Kim Kardashian’ advice from Season 9 of Keeping up with the K’s, “I will cry later, but not with fresh makeup”.
I had finally reached my limit…my emotional boundary that held my sanity by such a thin rope that I was finally at the cliffs end. I was unhappy. Thinking that I was finally at ease with my career and where I was headed, I realized that I had begun to lose a piece of myself.
All it took was a breakdown for me to see the signs prominent and clear. Jolting out at me as if they were a deer in headlights, I had finally begun to see my life clearer than I have ever seen it before. Managing four jobs and being a full time student, I felt as if I was less of a human and more of a slave. Stuck to the confines of a clock, I rode the minute hand as if it were my noble steed. I had been applying for jobs as a way to move forward in my career and to finally I achieve what I had been waiting for. It was not until I received the news of a brand new opportunity that I saw my life changing. I am now the event manager at Evanov Radio Group (Z103.5 and ProudFM). This new job did not just come with an unknown sense of environment, but it came with a new outlook. I was done working in a company where I did not feel happy or appreciated. Thinking fast, I opened my macbook and began to write… fingers pounding the keys, I wrote out two letters of resignation. Relinquishing two jobs, I have never felt so at ease… free of restraints and finally at personal peace.
I was feeling zapped. Zapped of energy and having my happiness stripped away like aged paint. Through this new revelation, I had finally began to pinpoint the true sources of my un-happiness.
It was the beginning of my new project – The Energy Conservation System: Project Me. Acting as the first step of my summer F*$k it list, I made a necessary change to solve the first question on my list: Am I happy in my career?. It was time that I began focusing on what truly mattered in my life, and that is my own well being.
The fear of the unknown truly frightened me. Yes, I did give up the money and I did give up my substation retail discount, but what I had realized is that while I may of had all of those perks, I was really just giving up my own sanity. As Karen Sahlmanson states, “breaks now are better than breakdowns later”. When you begin to feel unchallenged and out of place, these are signs that it is time to leave. Feeling Scared of playing with the big dogs and terrified to fling oneself out into Dante’s Inferno, the corporate world. These fears are just the cards landing in your favour, for you now have true inspiration and a drive to actively leave your current comfortable state and to take the trip to a better life.
What I hope that you can all take from this post is that you must narrow your goal to one central reward: Where do you want to be. After narrowing, you will now be able to take the necessary steps to reach this goal. No more being blindsided by unnecessary forces, you now have one goal in mind and nothing will stand in your path.
As I have realized, life fluctuates more than the fashion world. Styles change and personalities adapt, and by no means do you have to stay stuck in a sense of comfortability. Stretch your limits and find out what really matters in life…and that is your own happiness.
Oh, and ps….please take Kim Kardashians advice, crying while wearing fresh makeup truly is the worst of all pains.