Finding someone in the city has grown to be quite a challenge. Everywhere you look, you are surrounded by single individuals, and you find yourself hoping to meet the one. You might find yourself on dates with people of all different styles and background, and through this dating game you search for your ideal partner. Eventually when you meet that one person who you feel as if you cannot live without, you must realize that you are not just dating them…but all the other people they have been with as well.

As your lips touch the lips of your significant other, and your bodies blend into one another you become united. It is this act of romance that brings us into their sheltred minds and forms an attraction.

What I have come to notice is that you may find yourself incredibly attracted to someone, yet you are taken back by the bringing up of an ex. The whole “Ex issue” is a feat in itself, for when you find out that the person you are with has had an ex (or exes), this puts you through some form of mental turmoil. If you are anything like me, you might pull the classic full internet stalk in order to catch a glimpse of what they might have been like. The unfortunate aspect of exes is that no matter what they may look like, or how long ago that relationship was, you will always mentally compare yourself to that person.

It is the bitter truth, but no matter who you are with, there is always someone that has been there before you. There is always someone who has kissed their lips previously, or have slept with that person. Every time you caress their cheek you now see the image of the ex doing the same, and you attempt to one up that person. Exes are a whole different barrier in which we all must face and trust me on this one, never get involved with someone who has recently gotten out of a relationship, or is still in one. It is way too risky.

Now here is the big question that everyone is wondering: how do you deal with exes. The answer: You don’t.

You can never get involved with your partners ex for anything you say or do can either be held against you, or can affect you negatively. Of course there may come a time when the ex may be brought up, but you must not let this affect you. What you must remember is that the ex is in the past for a reason, and you are the present and possibly the future. Instead of focussing on someone from the past, focus on what lies ahead and how to make your own relationship work.

If you begin to notice that an ex is becoming too involved with your relationship, that is when you must take action. Never keep your partner in the dark about how you feel, for if you are uncomfortable with the situation then you should let them know. The biggest downfall you might face is your own naiveity. Sure, your partner might have pure intentions but you never know the intentions of the ex. I am not suggesting that you go out and pull a psycho bitch on their ass, all I am saying is that you always need to be on your guard.

Whatever the situation may be, never let  an ex affect your relationship. Stick to your guns, and focus on the future. The past is in the past for a reason.