Boundaries are fences that hold us back as individuals. We all create boundaries, for without them there would be no sense of ownership or privacy. What happens if we break a boundary, or how do we actually know if we are overstepping and on the shaky path to crossing the border line between safety.
I always find the risk of stepping on the border line of safety thrilling…I think that adrenaline rush associated with danger keeps you going like a drug. This adrenaline is like walking on train tracks blindfolded. You hear the warning signs of danger, but the thrill keeps you going. Keeps you going. Keeps you pushing the limit one more time. With every inch into the wrong direction that you take, the more of a high you feel. Chest heavy, mind foggy, and numb to the breaking frontier in which you have just crossed.
When in a relationship, there are many boundaries that should not be crossed. One massively large boundary is talking to other people romantically while in a relationship. It is dreadful to say, but we all flirt….it is just that once we cross the boundary of friendship and into something more, that is when the margins of partnership become blurred.
Why do we create boundaries? In retrospect, if all humans had some sense of morality why should boundaries be created? Well because some people are assholes and have a limited sense of the concept.
I am at a point in my relationship…thing with Americano that I have no idea what boundaries we have. With people inviting me out for coffee and drinks, I cannot decipher if these are being seen as dates or friendly encounters. Is this breaking a boundary? Americano and I are nothing fully official. I mean, we are officially seeing each other but it is not like we have had the “committed” talk yet. How do I know where the boundaries are.
The above sentence brought up so much ambiguity, I literally had to stop writing and text him this question.
Well after that hour conversation, I can now say that I understand OUR own boundaries. Obviously I will not get in to our own personal conversation, but in any relationship, the talk definitely needs to happen.
Whatever stage of a relationship that you are in, you MUST have this conversation on boundaries. It is not only impertinent to ease your own mind, but it can save you from making a mistake that you cannot save yourself from.