Bullshit.

It hit me, and It hit me like a ton of bricks… like a steel beam to the head, like an opportune epiphany that allowed me to open my eyes and to find the inspiration I needed. It all hit me. Sitting in a neighbourhood Starbucks in the suburban Mississauga, I relax with a hot Soy chai tea latte. Taking a sip, I skim through the notes that are written in my leather bound journal. When given this journal from Americano for my birthday, he wrote an inscription inside, “Be yourself, everyone else is taken”. The quote from author Oscar Wilde not only acts as a motivational tool, but dictates an important lesson: Be yourself.

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Ever since I was a child my goal was to move to the city, work for a popular media outlet and to journey through success riding on the coattails of popular culture. After numerous moves, broken hearts, life changes and the ability to start new, I have finally realized what I truly need…an adventure. 

I feel as if I have been going through life falling deeper into the materialization of the culture around me. Yes, it does take extreme strength to maintain your sense of self while immersed in material, but I unfortunately was not as strong as I needed to be. After making this realization, I knew that a change was needed…if I was to continue on and to find the strength necessary to succeed, I needed a catalyst. 

Change often encompasses doubt, and per usual I began to over analyze and over think all possible means of life. Am I really in need of an adventure, or am I just searching for an escape? Are these new feelings of mine to be believed or is this where I need to take a step back and call “bullshit”. 

Bullshit, a card game played in groups of 2-20. The aim of the game is to rid oneself of all cards by placing them into a discard pile. Seeing as how the played cards are face down, players are given the option to lie about the cards that they are playing. If caught in a bluff, the loser is forced to pick up the pile. 

Calling bullshit in a card game is much easier than calling bullshit in real life scenarios. In a standard 52 pack of cards, any player is able to know which cards will be on the table, they may not know the order…but there will always be kings, queens and aces in play. 

Life on the other hand is much different; While playing cards may come in a rotation, life does not. You KNOW that a queen will be played, yet in life we are considered lucky if we know what we will be eating for breakfast the next day.

After hours of raking my head and stripping the mind, I have finally realized what it is that I want to do…and I want to travel. I want to explore and learn. I want to feel knowledge first hand opposed to reading it from a textbook! I do not want to read about history, I want to create it. I am tired of spending hundreds on the latest design, I am exhausted of spending over 30 minutes (on a good day) getting dressed in the morning. I am fed up.

For all of you dedicated RW readers, you may wonder where all of this came from… and I will not lie, I have been changed by someone and for the better….for good. “Doing what you like is freedom, liking what you do is happiness”, And this sense of happiness is something that I need to find in things other than a 50% sale at Saks fifth avenue. 

Life will never be easy and there will never be a manual on how to survive. Life will fuck with you and then leave you to die. There will always be obstacles in your way, but the only way to survive is to find the strength needed to overcome them and continue on. I am done with just surviving…I want to live. 

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