My mind races through old photographs, desolate sunsets, Asia to Amsterdam, and bodies shaking with every touch, and kiss, a new jolt to life brought forward by a mind-altering epiphany.
The biggest flaw with modern dating is the desire to sell yourself short. Dating in itself is an exhausting and tedious task, one which we all endure until we find a “forever” – or an “until further notice”. The problem with dating is that a sense of incredible judgement is placed on your decision to either a) continue dating the person, or b) decide to never see said person again. We dream about our aspirations and begin planning for the future with self-proclaimed confidence and a blinded understanding.
When faced with a bullet and a blade, what do you decide? When casualty will be met either way, do we just take the risk?
As we navigate through relationships, does a similar interaction or denouement show our innate naivety or are we just plain stupid?
As children, we were told to always tell the truth yet as adults a sense of ambiguity is placed on the concept. This poses a new question: when is the truth not acceptable? and is the truth always right?
As we move out of the naivety that comes with romance, we often excuse behavior as means to compensate for something missing; both lack of experience and a deficit in understanding. It can be said that we are to live life blindly until we bank up enough experiences to actively learn.
I shake myself out of the dream. I find myself staring blankly at the runway, watching the show as if in slow motion — A dream-like state that keeps me from actively experiencing the world around me. Hair braided back and adorned in an oversized coat, I am stuck in an REM mindset.
In an environment where the word love is actively incorporated into my vocabulary, I feel as if I have lost sight of what the word actually means. I ask myself, how does love develop?
“You deserve that, to not be bothered by the past and to experience life in the way you want to; You deserve to be a celestial divine body.”
I’ll never learn about biochemistry, I’ll never learn why we can fall in and out of love, I’ll never learn why we fall for those we cannot be with, and I will never learn why a broken heart cannot be mended.