Last night was all a blur.
As it turns out, I decided to go to a party with a couple friends. With a 375mL bottle of Jager in hand, we headed out into the vast abyss of sweaty bodies within a cloud of intoxication.
Prior to leaving, I was sitting cross legged on Witt’s bed listening to the RENT soundtrack. Witt and I have been undergoing a series of sadnesses at the moment. Witt is lost within the facade of romance hoping for a turn in reality, while I am dealing with anxiety and emotional pain revolving around “Him”. Witt and I made a pact with one another, we both promised that we would not let our sadnesses interfere with this evening, for it is a chance to forget it all for just a moment. Of course, once a 375mL bottle is emptied, all promises will soon go to shit.
What started off as a fun evening soon turned into sadness where I was stuck in an unbreakable funk. This funk was purely because of “him”. It is not like he did ANYTHING wrong, I think it was just the fact of seeing him with someone else, someone from his past that got to me. It was now 1:30 in the morning and I had two options: I could wallow in this misery, or I could leave.
We grabbed our coats and called a taxi. I sat down beside Nat on the front porch and began to sob. After bottling in these feelings for quite sometime, I was quite aware of the fact an impending breaking would soon happen. Maybe it was the nip of the Toronto air, or the warmth emitting form Nat’s hug, but I began to feel better. This goes without saying, but I do not know how I would be able to survive without her. She always seems to know exactly what to say, and exactly how to hug you, for she never fails to lift your spirits. I think everyone needs that one friend, that one friend who not only acts as a shrink, but as someone who loves you. Nat is honestly my rock, and I am thankful I have her around to help at a moments notice.
There are times in your life when you want to put an end to it all and just forget, but all you need to know is that you are loved. No matter how fucked up your current situation is, there is always a tomorrow. I promise you, that in whatever situation you are facing, you will find a solution.
If not…you can borrow Nat.