There is something about walking in the city at 7am that is truly calming.

With Passenger playing through my earbuds I begin to watch the early morning commuters rush to work.

I am stuck again within this state of wonderment as I look at the life in front of me.  Business men and women rushing to work with coffees in hand, typing away at their cell phones. Walking down king street, I am draped in my plaid jacket and oversized scarf freezing away in the Toronto weather.

I seem to be back once again in a funk where I find myself pondering my life in its current state. This funk is purely rooted through “him”. I am constantly left in a state of ambivalence about the emotions I am feeling, for I am unaware of the feelings in which are felt.

It is like this feeling is ripping at my insides and breaking free from the hollow shell that is my chest. I think it is the constant sense of indecision that causes such pain and suffering within my heart. With all my efforts to not feel this pain, I continue on. It is hard to be left in such a corner with no answers.

It is difficult to be left on the sidelines waiting for an answer, and it is difficult to live in this turmoil… but in all honesty, nothing worthwhile will ever will come easy.

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