Closure, the act of finding peace within a situation.
Closure is definitely an important aspect of letting go, for it is rather impossible to fully let go without achieving some form of settlement. Closure provides a denouement for any situation, as it provides you with the answers to questions that have been nagging at your mind.
I have had a couple of exes in the past, and I am usually the type to grieve but then let go, but recently I have been having this nagging feeling to start up communication once again with a former ex. I originally thought that this was due to lack of closure, for I never truly received a legitimate answer as to why we broke up. Some facts were known, for I knew that I had been cheated on (twice for that matter) within that relationship, but I cannot place my urge to reconnect to lack of closure. I believe that it all has to do with how I witnessed “him” being in communication with his ex and have zero problems.
Watching “him” get out of the recent relationship was difficult, for there was definitely a lack of closure. Through this absence, I witnessed confusion, pain, and resentment. It was not until the closure and answers were given that he began to grow out of his own breakup depression. These emotions are common, and I have definitely faced all of them at one point. The funny thing is that we never recognize how truly painful these emotions are until we witness someone we care for going facing them.
The same thing goes for closure after a death. One cannot go on living their lives with the mindset that the person they lost is still living. To paint a picture of this, I will share the story of my father. After the passing of my grandmother, my father did not face the pain right away, he ignored the fact that she was gone and attempted to forget the situation. He eventually hit rock bottom and sank into a deep depression after the passing of my grandfather a couple months later. It was because of the fact that he never faced his sadnesses that he never received the closure he desperately needed to grieve.
Pain is an active and important part of life. Pain fucking sucks and is definitely not ideal, but without it we would be desensitized to the harshnesses of the world. Without having pain we would never grow as human beings, for it is through these pains faced in death, loss, and in breakups that we begin to find ourselves and see a new part of our own psyches.
Deal with sadnesses as soon as they are brought forward in your life, hiding the problems does not make them go away, for it makes them stronger on another day.