Spending my saturday evening laying in bed listening to The Pretty Reckless, I cannot help but reminisce about the events of the last few days.
For the past few hours I have been toying around with the idea of fear, and how it disables us from moving forward in our lives.
Everyone has their own fears; be it spiders, clowns, lightening etc. These small objects might be utterly terrifying in hindsight, but in reality they are really inhibiting roadblocks that prevent us from moving forward. One of my biggest fears is the fear of getting hurt, and that is exactly what is currently preventing me from actually moving forward with anyone. Technically, It is existentially a ridiculous fear, but it is one that I continuously find looming over my head.
How do we break away from this concept fear? I find myself searching for answers in the simplest of places, and attempting to seek refuge in the most dangerous of settings. As any rational person, I aspire for concrete answers that will leave me with little room for doubt. With any concrete evidence, it is rather hard to find any loopholes or any problems in a scenario, but is anything even concrete anymore? In love you will never find any concrete source of emotion, for emotion is such a fluid force that is is continuously growing and changing. I guess that we must learn to adapt to the fluidity of the whole movement and just learn to go with it.
Currently, there is someone that I am interested in, but am way to scared to try to push anything further for the greater risk of being hurt. As sensitive people we are always afraid to do anything out of the fear of being hurt, yet why should we bow down to the overwhelming stench of trepidation.
I think that my new summer goal is to kick fear in the ass. I cannot keep bowing down and sheltering how I feel, or hiding out just from the fear. If you really weigh the pros and cons, they do not actually seem as bad as the greater idea itself. Being said, I will not in a million years willingly enter a pit filled with spiders. Yeah no.
Next time you find yourself in a situation where fear is getting the best of you, take three deep breaths and then kick ass. You can and will conquer anything if you remember that.
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RW 