Lesson One: Don’t be a dick.

Before I start my usual writing, I am going to make a social commentary about the idiocy of the younger generation. Watching the news, I find myself laughing hysterically at the shenanigans that the youth of today have gotten themselves into. The newest fad to find its way into the school yard is the act of Beezin’  which basically entails rubbing Burts Bees on your upper eyelid to create a buzz. #bye

The best part about this new fad, is that the heading that accompanied the story is as follows: ““Beezin occurs at rainbow parties after drinking hand sanitizer and butt-chugging some vodka. “  Hands down the best sentence I have heard all year.


After spending the day with my grandparents, I was brought back into the past by the stories of their young adult lives. It is always hilarious to hear the shenanigans that grandparents got into before they became old. Trust me, nothing will ever fail to make me laugh then to picture my eighty year old grandfather blowing up an army tank with four of his friends (True story). Today my grandparents got onto the topic of relationships. Before meeting my grandmother at the age of twenty four, my grandfather told me a story about how he dumped one of his old girlfriends. At the age of twenty one, my grandfather had been going around with this woman named Joan for three years. Around the second year (my grandfather being 20), Joan began to bring up the topic of marriage. With my grandfather being such a young man in the height of his adult life, he was in no place physically or mentally to get married. Taking Joan to a New Years dance, he attempted to give their relationship another go before the old heave ho’. Before the clock struck the hour of midnight, Joan once again continued bringing up the looming task of a marriage proposal. Finally after having enough of this woman’s not so subtle hints, he and Joan left the party. The duo walked towards the streetcar station where they would hop on a car on route to Joan’s house. Seeing a streetcar approach, my grandfather guided Joan onto the car. As Joan stepped into the cart, the doors closed and she realized that something was missing….my grandfather. Looking out through the glass streetcar door she saw my grandfather waving at her from the platform. Clearly their relationship had come to an end. Talk about sass.

Maybe it is my morbid nature, but that is one of the funniest breakups I have ever heard of. In anyone else’s eyes, this breakup would immediately be classified as a “dick move”. It seems that not even after five decades, people still do not understand social graces. Even a good six decades later, my grandfather still feels terrible for what he did to Joan, but it is quite alarming to see that even in this generation, people still are borderline rude when it comes to social situations. This aged story brings up a story told by my friend Lilly. Last summer, she was interested in one of our good friends…let’s call him underager. After summertime flirting, they then went on their separate ways to University. With the benefit of cellphones, they continued texting and communicating hopefully until one of them declared their true feelings. After another month of continuous texting, and no progress, Lilly built up a large amount of courage and moral support from her friends and called him. If any of you knew Lilly, you would know just how much guts and boldness that this act took for her. With adrenaline pumping through her veins, she proceeded to tell underager of her fondness for him. With a moment of hesitation, he then replied “Yeah, I know”.

Yeah…I know.

I am not sure if anyone out there understands this douchebag of an answer, but those three words were basically a giant bitch slap in the face.

Social graces are motions that should be known in our society, yet are undeniably ignored. It may seem that social graces dispersed from society as quick as parachute pants, yet there still might be some hope for this new world.

For any parents reading, children never stop learning; this explains why some adults can be such dicks, for they are still children stuck in the learning process. When your child reaches the age of teendom, you should not just be having the sex talk with them, but also the how to not be a dick talk.

You can take bad habits out of child, but it is much harder to take them out of an adult. Teach carefully my friends.

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