Rain before the thunder.

Once again I find myself caught in a rainstorm and walking through the streets soaked head to toe. The rain hits the ground billows under my feet as I stomp through the puddles. Today I signed the lease for my new condo. I am trading in the entertainment district for the historic Distillery District of Toronto. Equipped with over cobble stone walkways, art galleries, and small coffee shops, I am now living in a quaint part of Toronto history.

Moving once more is going to be a massive change. Upon my first move, it is no secret that I moved because of him; but seeing as I am now moving for myself, It is a completely different and indescribable feeling. So much has changed for me over the past year, and it seems as if the changes are continuing to fall into place. One of the big challenges that I faced this year was dozens of broken promises. Promises are like putting an elastic band around a large jar, sometimes the band may withstand the width and stay strong, but other times it might snap. In my case, most of what I was promised ended up snapping into pieces leaving me to clean up the mess. One of the biggest fallouts from a broken promises (apart from the obvious) is promises regarding money and financial stability.

Financially I am not necessarily the most stable of Toronto citizens. If it was not for my mother and a variety of loans, I would honestly not be able afford to live. This promise of financial relief was one fragment of a lie that I held on to hoping for the best. Per usual in this type of situation, the promise fell flat and I was left with debt. While dealing with my own mental health, this situation brought forward some intense bouts of anxiety, but I quickly learned that money is not necessarily the only aspect of living. Money can be acquired in a variety of ways, but the biggest lesson is how you must not forget to live despite your woes.

Forgetting to live. That is truly the main problem that myself, and many others have faced. We are burdened with so many challenges that we soon become absorbed into the negativity of our lives that we begin to put off living. There are dozens of instances where shit can be brought into our lives, but we can either face it head on or dwell. Despite the situations you are facing, you must remember that there will come a time when you need to move on.

I think moving on is a general rule for just about anything in life. Whatever obstacles gets in your way you must conquer it, then move on.

Yesterday is in the past dear, and instead of dwelling on all the all fucked up instances you have tackled, look ahead and try to avoid new ones. No use in staying behind, because the rest of the world will not wait for you.

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