The bitter taste of espresso lingers in my mouth as it mixes with the nicotine. The two together from a taste like no other. Sitting on a rock looking out onto the vast beauty of Lake Ontario, I stare off into the distance and see the outline of the Toronto skyline.

“I am so ready to leave this place” , I begin to think as I take another sip of my coffee. As my birthday nears closer by the day, I realize that I seem to have lived another lousy year on this barren planet. Unlike New Years where we mark the beginning of a new year as a whole, birthdays mark another year that YOU specifically have lived on earth, and with each birthday we attempt to celebrate with as many friends and family as possible. Staring out at the geese flocking by I begin to think of possible ways to spend this “joyous” occasion.

The Toronto skyline seems so far away, and I feel the need to go back. I think one of the biggest problems in which has prevented me from moving sooner is the financial accountability of it all. Paying rent and student dues do not necessarily sound beneficial for someone who works a part time job. I honestly wish I was able to have the funds to pay for my schooling and then some, but sometimes it feels as if I would just be better off saving my money and dropping out.

The crashing of the waves against the boardwalk overpowers the sound of the seagulls cawing over the shoreline. As I look to either side of me, I see that I am no longer alone… I have been joined by two sets of couples. Just perfect.

As I continue my walk, I enter a wooded pathway. It was at this point that I felt something become stuck in my hair. Apparently birds do not like blondes or buns because I was honest to god attacked by a bird. The birds foot became tangled in my hair, so for a few good seconds I was wearing a bird hat like Carrie in Sex and The City.

As I spend the day lounging by the lake, I attempt to forget the fight that I just had with my mother. After being picked up by a good friend of mine, we began shopping around and went to watch some online television at a local Starbucks. Looking at my phone I see that I have over seventeen missed calls and two voicemails.  Listening to the voicemail, I am being told of how the police are in pursuit of me as a missing person, and if I get the message I am instructed to call them. Yeah right like I am calling back the police. I was hellah terrified of what they would ever say! As the clock nears eight pm. I see police cruisers appear in the parking lot. I was done for.  As an officer exits his car and nears our window, my chest tightens up as he asks us to roll down the window and instructs me to exit the vehicle.

Like in any nerve wracking situation, I tried my best to maintain absolute composure. In the Simple Life, the girls seem to get away with anything by using humour…Whatever the situation may be, humour is worth a shot. Stepping outside of the car, many possible ideas of what could have happened are filling my head. This police encounter is either the beginning of a really bad porno, or I did something wrong.

I got rid of the drug money from Mexico, I wore a mask when I robbed that bank…I honestly have no clue what I could be in trouble for. (Kidding..)

The officer begins to ask me about what happened between my mother and I earlier in the afternoon. Apparently after I left the house to go out, my mother became worried for my sanity and called the police because of my “state of turmoil”. I was then classified to the fez as a risk to myself. The officer looks me up and down and says “Are you planning on offing yourself tonight?” I look at him with a smirk and say “I am sitting in a Starbucks parking lot dear, not exactly an ideal place to do myself in”. After he began to chuckle, the tension immediately begin to drop. Apparently with my previous history of depression, by leaving my house and turning my phone off (thereby ignoring everyones messages and calls), deems me as a missing person. I thought that the fez did not go searching for a missing person until 48 hours after the report, but as it turns out if you have a history with mental illness they begin searching immediately. After four hours of searching, they finally find me…in a Starbucks parking lot watching #CandidlyNicole on my phone.

From this situation, I learned that A) I am incredibly good at unintentionally hiding, and B) Starbucks is apparently an ample place for offing oneself. Unfortunately I did not get a mug shot like I would have wanted, but I did get a hilarious Bonnie & Clyde esque story where I had the police on my tail for a couple of hours. I pulled a Chuck Bass, and I feel as if my street cred definitely went up from my police encounter.

As the police drove away in their cruiser, one of the officers waved goodbye. It was then at this point that I shot him a peace sign. Hollah at me.