My Personal Mirkwood: Dealing with first encounters.

Sitting on the mezzanine of a local coffee shop, I look down at the coffee lovers below. With aged white brick all around me, and industrial piping covering the ceiling, I take note of the aged décor and the smell of coffee beans. From the center of the coffee shop hangs a large, aged chandelier that drapes elegantly over the Baristas. With one large window on the far wall, I look out onto the bright shining lights of the carousel outside. The horses seem to move to the beat of the playlist I have been listening to. With every bar, the horses move to the sound of the beat. With that said, I am currently listing to Beyoncé’s Blow…. Do with that what you will.

I have been sitting here for the last hour studying for my exam tomorrow. Taking twenty-minute breaks in between my studying, I feel the tiredness, and lack of sleep creeping up on me. Looking at my phone I am continuously receiving text messages from Americano, he is trying to calm me down. This upcoming Friday I will be meeting his family. Exciting as it may be, it is also incredibly nerve wracking. Being new to this whole relationship thing, I sometimes find the whole meeting friends and family thing difficult.

I have been described as a friendly person, but I feel that there is a large difference in meeting people in a professional industry setting, than in a close-knit family gathering. Is it always like this? The insane nervous feeling that comes from meeting the family of the people you love? I honestly cannot think of a time in which I have been this confused as to what to wear in ages. I have met his mother and brother and I positively adore them. I haven’t met a family so friendly and welcoming in a long while. I think it is just the uncertainty of how the night will go and what will occur, that frightens me.

I think that when you meet your partner’s family you must follow some simple guidelines. Rule number one: Keep it polite. Do not be farting and burping at the dinner table (unless that is a social convention in your area that I am unaware of). Rule Number Two: Always bring a welcoming gift. Typically wine will do, coming empty handed usually isn’t the most polite thing to do. Rule Number Three: Don’t try too hard to be something that you are not. People are not idiots, they are well able to tell who is faking and who is being sincere. It is not difficult to decipher.

To be perfectly honest, I am mostly scared of meeting his father. There is not a justified reason to permit this nervousness, I am just rather timid when it comes to meeting father figures. From growing up not having a relationship with my father, I feel timid when meeting fathers. The only way to describe this is to imagine a dark and misty wood. Think of it as if you are walking blindly and unarmed into a wood of dangers. With hazards at every corner, you feel unprepared and uneasy as you take your first step into the dangers of Mirkwood (enjoy the Hobbit reference).

I have never had a strong male figure in my life. All the men whom I have grown up looking up to have turned out to be liars, cheaters, and all in all manipulative. Growing up being raised by my mother, I find myself to be more comfortable around women. I have seen too many men hurt the women in my life, that I truly find it difficult to connect with any man of power.

In this situation, well in any situation, all you can do is try. No one can ever blame you for trying. If you royally mess up and things go awry, well…at least you tried. In life, it is better to deal with the ‘now’ opposed to dealing with the unknown. If you do not participate in life, you will be left wondering what could have happened. In a life filled with so many questions and decisions, why would you bring more uncertainty? Exploration is key…don’t stop exploring out of fear. Take your chance, possibly succeed, and move on.

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