Being single in the city is supposed to have its own benefits: surrounded by hundreds of attractive, entrepreneurial types, ready to jump in and fund your shoe habit. It seems that I have been under many false pretences, for television romantic comedies have done nothing but lie to me. Looking around the city, I find homeless people asleep on benches, and tourists snapping photos with a selfie stick. These are not the benefits I had been promised.
Is it too late? Have all the single people gone into hiding, and we are stuck in the land of coupledom?
“It is getting chilly out,” I say as I pull my coat closed.
I am seated in a white deck chair looking out onto the lake. Upon being asked to help a friend with a shoot, I agreed to model. His shoot was meant to portray the feeling of loneliness. Perfect. Taken to a place that I have not been since the breakup, the location is sure to inspire emotion. It is quite astonishing how little an environment can change in six months, we all go through large emotional changes yet the environment seems to stay the same. The footsteps we made in the sand have been washed away by the rain – the clouds have come full circle and wiped the land clean. When digging into some sort of artistic endeavour, it has been said that in order to achieve some sort of emotion within your work, you have to relive it… All the pain and suffering. You must rekindle the flame that caused you to hold on, and then use it for your art.
Suffering for art, how original.
Across the water, a shipyard lays to rest. The clanking of machinery echoes across the beach and glides over the water. I always forget how beautiful the city is; waters edge with nothing but my thoughts. The water is black, and lights reflect off the surface casting an eerie glow.
In a city so full of diversity, how is it that we are so behind in romantic and sexual advancement? (I blame tinder).
It seems as if we are living in a society that values appearance much more than actual understanding of character. With this said, we still find ourselves swiping left/right and moving through a roster of suitable men and women.
Below, is a typical conversation that you might be subjected to while being single:
“I know someone who would be perfect for you!”
“Really, What are they like? What are their interests? What is their tax bracket? (Kidding..)
“Well, they… They’re gay”!
Ah, there it is. The proverbial statement that acts as the fundamental piece of any successful gay relationship: homosexuality! It is at this point that I applaud them for their matchmaking abilities, quite the observant masters of love.
I then smile, take a sip of my martini and walk away.
Some may see it as “helping a brother out”, and attempting to play matchmaker when no cupid is needed, but it is honestly more aggravating than anything.
This is all merely from my opinion, but it seems as if successful relationships have become something more of a novelty. When did this instantaneous love game begin? and when did we subtract love from relationships and build romance on a foundation of properly lit photos and a swipe left or right. What does love got to do with it? For how can one possibly want to set up another person based on a biological fact opposed to breaking down compatibility to interest? It seems to me that relationships (with a specific focus on homosexuals) are not looked at as something substantial. The best way to describe this: when a heterosexual couple walks down the street holding hands, they often go unnoticed by the common passerby. If the situation is reversed, and a homosexual couple walks hand in hand, they are often subjected to (and only by those “approving” homosexuality) sympathetic half smiles, and I am sure that you all know the type of smile I am referring to.
Leaves fall off the trees and dance eloquently to the ground, they follow choreographed number that depicts the rise and fall of the seasons. November 4th, everything is beginning to dye and for once I am starting to live.
Being single has always been looked at as unconventional. Society has definitely adapted since the 1950’s, but we are all expected to follow the traditional marriage route.
Step 1. Find a man/woman
Step 2. Trap him/her into marriage
Step 3. Breed offspring
Step 4. Repeat if all goes awry.
Maybe it is time to start the single revolution, to pave the way for single men and women everywhere. You do not need a man or woman to be happy, for happiness can be found in hundreds of other things! It is not necessary to have a romantic partner in order to live the life you were meant to. You don’t want to have kids? Great! Enjoy keeping the body you worked hard to maintain. You don’t want to get married? Amazing! Save the money that might go to a lawyer during a divorce settlement.
Breaking free from the archetypes, I wonder: Did we find ourselves in this place by accident, or are we victims of fate? We all are seen as happy, but we are never seen smiling. Find yourself before you find a mate, because you may find that the qualities you are seeking in another person can be found within yourself.
While this all may sound incredibly pessimistic, and like I have given up on love, I can assure that you I have not. Love does not wait for anyone, and those who are given a second chance at it are considered lucky. If you are in a happy and in a committed relationship, then I wish you the best. Hold on to the feeling that you have, but do not let it consume you, for once you let yourself be fully taken over by love, there is no going back to singledom.