Drunk and light headed, I sit down at Witt’s desk and begin to write. The demons in which I have been desperately trying to hide have quickly unearthed and have risen to the surface.
Within life, we can only try to contain our own minds for so long…but there comes a time when we must shed our barriers and rid ourselves of all inhibitions. In my situation I am in a constant rut over ambiguity and “Him”. I just wish that within life we are able to obtain something concrete and purposeful in which we can always cling to. I am honestly tired of change, for with every ounce of comfortability in which I achieve, another ounce of sadness roots itself deep within my mind.
I wont lie, it really fucking hurts to see “Him” with other people, and it really fucking hurts to know that I just might not be the person in which I thought he saw me as; but it is in these moments of sadness where I attempt a form of modification to fix the pain. During the first time I was hurt by “Him”, I pierced my Helix. The second time I darkened my hair,while the third time I shaved my head. It is peculiar to know that these small changes can actually provide some sense of bliss, for maybe it is these small changes that keep us afloat within even the darkest of times.
Drunk and tired I lay upon a queen sized bed with Nat and Witt by my side. If only Socrates could hear us now, for we are all professing and exclaiming not only our own personal philosophies, but our own views of the world. It is through these moments of pure drunkeness that our ideas really do begin to spur out. During a drunken stupor, we achieve this sense of connection with our subconscious that allow us to achieve a whole new level of understanding within ourselves. We dream of travelling, and we dream of leaving our lives behind, but in the end we dream of love. We all hope to achieve that sense of bliss on earth in which only one can hope for within dreams. Life is a piece of ambiguous moments and you must make the best of it for even the smallest fragments in our lives can make the absolute and biggest impact.
Live your life and do not dwell. Live like you are drunk, for when you are within your drunken stupor you can see the world within a new light. It is through this experience that you see things in a new light, and creates a sense of bliss within an insane mind.