With a bag of cinnamon hearts by my side and my new onesie being worn, I sit down at my kitchen table and begin to write. I have been wracking my brain for inspiration within the last few days, but I feel as if I have lost my muse. Shoving a pound of cinnamon hearts into my ready and open mouth, I stare at the keyboard aimlessly. I must say, I feel rather idiotic wearing a onesie, yet I have also never felt so damn comfortable. I was planning on writing about my day of vintage shopping and sightseeing, but it seems as if I am heading in another direction.
After a day of sunshine and vintage shopping, I found myself in a pleasant mood. I thought that nothing would be able to break this feeling, but as always, I was wrong. It is positively ridiculous to think that one small incident can change your emotion, but it easily happens. Within the last couple of hours I witnessed something that not only changed my emotion, but completely broke me inside. It is rather humorous to think about how such small things within our lives can leave such a large impact on us emotionally. Within my case this feeling of sadness has been brought on by the last flame hope burning to the wick. I had hope for certain aspects of my life to play out in a certain way, and to watch them be shot down and rearranged is truly a heartbreaking feeling. It is like watching a part of you die and waste away into the trashcan.
I always seem to start the day feeling as if I am on top of the world, yet when one thing goes awry I fall apart. However I must give myself some credit for being able to conduct myself within a social manner after my discovery, on the outside I attempted to wear a sense of strength but on the inside I have been broken.
As said before, I have lost my muse. The source of my writing has changed and I honestly have zero idea where to go from here. It has become rather difficult to narrate my life considering the fact that my blog is actively read by “Him”. It seems as if I will have to be much more conspicuous when it comes to my writing, for I have much to share about the newest antagonists the “Ogre” and the “Golem” as well as many more instanced with “Him”. Within our young lives we write out our dreams and latch on to the hope of them coming true…but unfortunately life does not work this way. We can hope and dream all we want, but until we actually live out this dreams and make them a reality, they are honestly a waste of time. My advice to you is this: Do not hold onto dreams in which have become tainted, for if you have harness enough strength to reinvent yourself and your dreams, you can achieve the world.