11:48 at night, and I am 100% drunk.
The creativity flows through my brain as I attempt to sit down and gather my thoughts.
Striking up enough courage to attend his housewarming party, I walked in and ended up having a good time. With over 10 shots of Jager in my body, I board the train to take me back to my hometown. Surrounded by other tired people, I begin to take in my surroundings. One: I am drunk and am rather blurry at the moment, and two: I am debating on striking up a conversation with the well dressed man seated in front of me.
The long ride home might do my brain good since I am left dizzy and broken and craving sleep. Luckily throughout the party, I had Witt and Nat by my side otherwise I am not sure how I would have gotten through it. He asks me why I have been so distant, but the answer is seen blatantly through our situation. I am attempting to regain control over my life, and I will NOT let anyone else interfere. He has moved on for it has been easy to see, which is exactly why I am done feeling angry at the situation. Since the unveiling last week, I am done feeling sad about about negative situations. I can’t dwell on negativity for all of life, for another persons business is not my place to meddle; we have passed that frontier.
At this point I am just ready to sleep and forget the pain of the day. Sadness and drunkness aside, I am glad I still have him within my life. Sure it is a difficult concept to grasp that he is with other people, but I cannot live on a cloud of fantasy for so long.
Life is life, and shit happens. Whats the point of being stuck to a person for so long that you begin to feel like you need them? I am spending the time focussing on myself, and I honestly believe that is the best option at this point.
I leave the city feeling hopeless, but also leave feeling new. I am a new being, a new person with enough motivation to achieve whatever goals I create. I am tired of being sad over stupid and trivial things.