Throughout life you begin to realize that you really have nothing without your friends for they become the stability that you need in times of trouble. Best friends on the other end are the people who are more than just friends, for they quickly become a part of you.
Over the course of the year, an eight year friendship of mine has come to an end. The end of the friendship was not traumatic or upsetting, for there was never really a big event in which furthered the decision…we just simply grew apart. Years ago when we met, we were known as the trio consisting of Wiens, A, and myself, and we were practically inseparable. It was not until grade nine that a stake was driven through the heart of our group as I went to a neighbouring school separate from the girls. I kept my friendships strong while as time would have it, they simply grew apart. Against popular belief, the girls friendship mostly came to an end because of a relationship that A had. Entering grade nine together, Wiens began to make other friendships as A began to spend all her time with her new boyfriend. With all sights set on her man, she began to let friendships slip as she spent positively every waking hour with him. After a few years of this isolation, their friendship disintegrated fully.
Wiens means the world to me. She is not only a friend, but my sister. She has been there with me through it all, I cannot even express my gratitude of how much her love means to me. There is honestly nothing bad that I can possibly say or think about her, for she is the one person who has stuck with me through all of my pitfalls and throughout my journey of personal growth. I am lucky to have her in my life, for over a decade Wiens has stuck with me through it all, and our bond grows thicker by the day.
To make an insanely long story short, it was not until after my breakdown that I came to the realization that A was not always there for me. She may protest and say that she cares immensely, and that she is always there for me…but unfortunately her view of the situation is definitely one sided. Over the years of our friendship, she has DEFINITELY been there for advice, but in times of extreme desperation she was not there for me. I have recently been told that A believes that I was never there for her, for she felt that I was too consumed in my own problems. The stench of irony is pungent for anyone can tell you how much I cared and was there for A during her biggest breakdown: her breakup from the douche. Throughout the course of that summer I spent almost every waking hour with A, for I was always there to provide her with advice or just to talk. I was there for her through her sadness, and even more importantly her recovery from the breakup. Ironic as it all may be, the good seems to be overlooked when associating with a narcissist.
I considered the end of our friendship merely water under the bridge for we never had a blowout…the we just grew apart as she began spending all her time with her new boy. It became harder to see her without a prior appointment, and she never seemed to have any free time. Her last text to me was on February 6th, while my last text to her was February 16th asking to meet up since I was back in town for the week. I had not heard from her since…until now.
This past weekend I received a text from Krest, a good friend of mine stating that he met someone that I know. After some small talk, they realized that I was a mutual friend. After Krest described how we are really good friends, she continued the conversation by introducing me as her “ex best friend”. I’m sorry, but in no possible way is this considered polite. Considering that we never had made the end of our friendship official, it is incredibly alarming and childish to describe someone as an “ex best friend”. If asked about her, I would speak nothing foul for at one time she did mean the world to me. I would simply introduce her as someone I know very well, for I would never in any means describe her as an ex best friend. I am sorry, but we are adults and hearing a statement like that is nothing but immature and childish.
I have grown up immensely over the course of the year, and have met some amazing people that I cherish dearly, but to know that I am now deemed as an “ex best friend” makes me feel as if all the good memories have gone to waste. I left childish statements back in elementary school, but it seems as if not all people have done so. In my life now, I am void of any form of immaturity for I have surrounded myself with people that I not only trust, but with people whom I care about. It seems as if she no longer fits the bill.
In truth, if she made an effort to speak with me before hearing this, I would have definitely given her a chance, for I cannot dismiss the fact that we did have an eight year friendship. Since the tables have turned, and that a childish nature seems to be her current mood, I guess I must do the same…I am DEFINITELY not inviting her to my birthday party. XOXO.