Keep it in your pants.

Nothing like a bright and humid summer day spent at the Toronto Rogers centre to make for a lovely evening. Nat and I spent the day watching my cousin play for the Toronto Argonauts. In all honesty, we both know absolutely nothing about Football. Neither of us understand the sport, or even why half naked women come out and shake their boobs for twenty minutes. Many of you may be wondering why both of us arts focused individuals went to a sporting event, but the answer is simple…beer.

As we both waited patiently for the game to end, we began to speak about the usual things that people talk about during a sporting game: Vibrators and orgasms…Clearly our heads were in respectable mind frames.

After the game, we headed over to my cousins place for a football after party. With music blazing through the night, Nat and I sat down on two seemingly comfortable white plastic chairs. Surrounded by drunk dancers and a happy family, we began to wallflower the event observing our surroundings. Our sense of serenity was soon interrupted as a man sat down beside Nat. As the conversation professed, it was clear that Nat was not interested. The guy was working out his moves: hand on the knee, moving in closer, and laughing at all she said… still, none were working. Eventually after watching her pain for some time, we made a hasty exit seeing as I had to “walk my dog”… With an awkward handshake, the young man asked for Nat’s digits and she reluctantly agreed.

This now raises the question: What do you do if a 5 comes up to you, when you are clearly a 10? (kidding).

The real question is how to exit from a conversation in which you have no interest to continue, without seeming like a dick.
Over the years I have seen a few techniques, some may continue the conversation and give their number out of pity, while others (myself included) have given fakes. The last option is rather blunt, seeing as you shut them down faster than Korea shut down internet pornography.

Whichever technique you use, you must really make sure to take into the feelings of the other individual into account. Look at the situation from their perspective: Coming up and speaking to you definitely took a large amount of balls.

Being said, you are in no obligation to ever give someone your number. If you are not interested, you really need to be firm. For example: if some deep v-neck wearing, jersey shore look alike comes up to you and asks for your number, (unless it is your type) you do not need to share your digits.

Having a backbone is something that is majorly important in life. If you go through life without actually telling people how you really feel, you will mostly likely end up being walked all over. I grew up being a doormat for many years until I learned that I was always being hurt by the same individuals because they were easily able to walk over me. It was not until I actually stood up for myself that I gained personal integrity and become more of a person. When you stand up for what you believe in, you may encounter negative feedback. Names might be thrown, and you may be labeled as bitch, but WHO CARES? Tina Fey was correct when she stated that bitches get things done. It is better to be seen as a bitch who has integrity opposed to a weakling who is taken advantage of.

All in all, do what you feel is right. Only you know what you truly want, and no matter how persistent someone is, do not cave into something you do not want to do.

With one last piece of advice, I suggest wearing baggy clothes to any sporting event. With beer prices being over eleven dollars, I completely suggest smuggling. Saving money on alcohol shines a whole new light on the phrase “keeping it in your pants”.

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