When walking down the aisles of a bakery, you pass by stacks upon stacks of loaves: Multigrain, whole wheat, and white. The one common thing about these loaves, is the day labels. These multi-coloured pieces of plastic that get stuck under the microwave serve a purpose: They are used to tell the consumer what day the loaf was made. With one colour being Monday, another being Tuesday and so on, we pick the loaf based on this small label of freshness. Grabbing the freshest loaf and taking it up to the register to pay, I begin thinking about these labels that surround us.
As romantic beings, we are all in the search for a label: boyfriend, girlfriend, lover, friend, stalker. There are many labels in which we can chose, but what happens when we do not have the security of one singular label? What happens if we go through the motions of a relationship without one word tying us together? Nothing. Nothing will happen.
When you think about it, one word really does not have a large affect on any romantic situation. Walking down front street I begin thinking about Americano. Americano and I do not have a singular label, we simply are just…seeing one another. Does this bug me? Yes. Do I know why it does? No.
When breaking down the situation, the title of “boyfriend” is really just a label. We are all so adamant on not being placed into a single category when it comes to sexuality, or stereotypes that we continuously argue over being placed with one particular label. As people we are more then just black or white, and we are more than just gay or straight, yet we freak out when we do not have the label of a relationship on us? It does not make sense.
Think about it: If you are in a relationship at this current moment, imagine taking away the label of “boyfriend or girlfriend”. Would anything change? probably not. In terms of my current situation, I think my biggest fear is being cheated on. From being cheated on more than once before, I feel that it is the label of boyfriend that acts as a security blanket to prevent the pain that comes with a cheater. It is the ownership you feel over your partner that creates such a feeling of closeness. As said before, a label is just a word…but with no trust behind it, there really is nothing stopping anyone from cheating.
The whole thing to consider is trust. If you do not trust the person you are seeing, maybe that is why you are seeking the safety attained from a label. Moral of it all, if you trust the person you are seeing and you place all faith in them, why slap on a label and add the pressure associated with a conventional relationship? We no longer live in a conventional society where the woman is simply the housewife, and the man is just the breadwinner. We are all free beings who strive for independence and the serenity of self-determining life.
Try to stray from convention and to take your relationship in whatever direction you want. If you do not want a label, then don’t add one. A word is just a word, and without trust…the word is nothing.