Sitting in a packed cafeteria, I sip my Venti Americano and begin working diligently on the stacks of work in front of me. Lately there has been something that has been sticking with me and really bothering the hell out of my mind. Looking around, I see dozens of couples holding hands, or looking lovingly into each others eyes. You can practically see the mutual adoration in their eyes, yet I begin to wonder if either of them has confessed their love for one another. You can be seeing someone for months, but when is the when is the right time to utter the notorious “3 letters, 18 words” verse that Blair and Chuck found such difficulty in uttering? I honestly have no damn idea. Actually, I really do not think that anyone really knows how to predict the correct time do this, or how to do so for that matter.
Making a quick google search on the subject, links began to fill the page with different “silent ways to say I love you”. Clicking the first link, I laugh to myself over how stupid these are. Let me take an example from one of the webpages: “Pour out his coffee in the morning”….take in this other example “Hold the door for him”.
Can someone please explain to me when common courtesies became the hidden ways to say “I love you”. If holding a door for someone now indicates burning attraction, I guess I just silently told the 90 year old lady in front of me that I love her.
It is just so frustrating! Why is it so hard to tell someone we love them? We grow up loving our parents (gets murky in the teen years), so we find it so easy to profess our love for them, yet we find it so hard to tell the people we are practically sleeping with this. I think that we are all so petrified of a negative response that we are afraid to even try…we are afraid of not having the feeling reciprocated, that we would rather hide our NATURAL emotion opposed to actually telling our lover how we feel.
As one of my past posts suggests, we can not define love. Love is up to ones own interoperation, for no one can really tell you how to define your version of love. With that said, its time to give some amazing advice that I probably won’t follow myself. Well…here we go.
Before you actually confess your love for the person you are seeing, you must make sure that this interest is something more than pure infatuation. Of course all great relationships begin with an infatuation, but you must make sure that you really see the true person behind their image…you must see behind the infatuation and to see what this person is really like. After all this careful observation, you must make sure you time it correctly.
I think that telling someone that you love them is only awkward if you make it awkward. DO NOT make it a big deal. Do not make a huge dinner and then wait for the right moment to pop the sentence. This is not a proposal, it is just a sentence. I think that the most accepted forms of declarations of love are when the sentence is brought up in a casual manner. Say you just finished a date with your partner and you are both going your separate ways, that seems like a good moment to squeeze it in there.
As much as I would like to follow my own advice, I find it incredibly hard to do so. I legitamently use the word love in every sentence (EX. “Loves it”, “I love that”), yet I found it so difficult to utter these words to Americano. It is actually humus how many times I have almost let it slip out, yet made a quick cover then retreat.
Whichever way you decide to speak this sentence, you must know that there is no way of turning back. What has been said sticks with someone, so make sure to mean it, and make it count.