Being single in the city is supposed to have its own benefits: surrounded by hundreds of attractive, entrepreneurial types, ready to jump in and fund your shoe habit. It seems that I have been under many false pretences, for television romantic comedies have done nothing but lie to me. Looking around the city, I find…
Tag: funny
Clarity Is Found Beside YSL.
Surrounded by discount clothing, the one thing that cannot be discounted was how I felt. Left feeling confused by my summer F*&k it list, I resigned from two positions and went on my way to “happiness”. Was happiness really what I received? For the only thing that has been fully received was a major dent…
If I won a contest, is it still bad luck?
Good news comes in small bursts. For instance: I woke up to winning seasons 1-3 of American Horror Story on DVD. Good news most of the time is also followed by some seemingly bad news. For instance: I woke up this morning to my ceiling leaking and my floor flooded. In a deep sleep I…
Tabula Rasa & Rambling.
Throughout our lives, it always seems like we are being continuously watched. We are watched by parents when we are children, we Re watched over by superiors at work, and we are continuously surveillanced as customers in a store. There is never really a time where we are fully independent. I understand the sense of…
The time I was pursued by the police.
The bitter taste of espresso lingers in my mouth as it mixes with the nicotine. The two together from a taste like no other. Sitting on a rock looking out onto the vast beauty of Lake Ontario, I stare off into the distance and see the outline of the Toronto skyline. “I am so ready…
The polygamous Pinky: The tale of how my creepy roommate began to hit on my friends.
The creep scale has hit an all time high as my incredibly odd roommate Pinky has decided to hit on Witt. Meeting Witt at my annual Violentine’s Day Party, Pinky has taken quite an interest in her. Pinky is apparently in a relationship with not one woman but two, and is clearly looking for another….
Hot mess with an emphasis on the mess.
Do you ever feel as if you have completely and positively lost your marbles? For a good 18 minutes I was pacing back and forth in front of my condo whilst on the phone with Witt ranting about and over analyzing such minuscule details of my life. I am stuck in a hallway full of…
Perils of the iPhone: Part II
When I last explained my blacked out drunken night of bad decisions, I also explained the unlikely situation in which I underwent with my iPhone. After losing the beloved device, and being forced to shell out $675 to not only purchase a new phone, but to also get an early start to bankruptcy. I must…
RW 